The (non-alcoholic) Pan Flute.

Not to be confused with the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Step one: Put ice in a glass.

Step two: Add one whole Bacchus or other small, shot-form energy drink of choice. If you’re in Greensboro, these can be found at Super G.

Step three: Fill the glass the rest of the way up (Or as much as you like)  with lemon juice. Observe that your drink is now striped*.

Step four: Add seltzer if you feel like it. This makes it a fit foamy.

Caffeinate responsibly. I wouldn’t recommend drinking more than one of these in a day.

* Also, it somewhat resembles pee. It’s a yellow-liquid thing.

Stay or go? Part 3: Lazy Sunday

I’m exhausted.

I just spent several weeks rehearsing and finally performing in a stage production with Crystal Bright and the Silver Hands. This show brought together dozens of awesome people that I want to be friends with forever. I saw (and heard) some amazing works of art, and got to cross “Perform on stage” off my list of things to do before I die. This adventure culminated in a three-day show, for which I ended up making my own costume from scratch in less than a week. I played the main character’s sinister toy lamb, one of the characters to comfort her throughout her fairytale-like ordeals. Now that it’s over, I can finally relax and be a lump for a little while. But what  to wear?

Sweatpants are sad, lifeless garments. You wear them in bed, or working out, or possibly to school. If you’re short like me, you probably have to scrunch them up and leave marks on your ankles, and yet you wear them anyway. Even though they’re generally too hot, people claim they’re comfortable. Look at this:

They’re like deflated stuffed animals. Dead, deformed beasts found in Montauk would look away. They possess about a tenth the majesty of two mating slugs. So I propose that we replace them with yoga pants. They’re more comfortable, easier to hem, and make it look almost like you plan on doing something with your day.

See these? They’re like sweatpants in disguise. The swingy velvet ones are borderline cute.

Yes, you may have to hem them. But with fine knits, a zig-zag or overlock stitch will be all it takes.Most sewing machines include at least one overlock stitch, which requires a special foot. The stitch will usually look like a cross between a zig-zag and a straight stitch. Slash your pants to the desired length, stitch around the edge and bingo, they’re perfect.

Go forth and be lazy.

(Incidentally, the shirts I’m wearing are a teaser for my next post. Stay tuned.)

Stay or go? Part 2: Old-n-Busted vs. New Hotness

I like dresses. They’re fancy, quick to put on, and still allow for a nice breeze now and again. Unfortunately, they also get caught on things, stained, stepped on, or ripped. Pretty as they are, the dresses on this list have been heavily worn, and it shows. I’m sure I’ll accumulate many more, but for now I’ve pared it down to a choice few.

Going:

This one I’ve had for so long I broke the straps twice. This could be attributed to the flimsiness of noodle straps, but I like to think it’s due to my TOTALLY HARDCORE LIFESTYLE. Ahem.

This one has belonged to my sister or I for over six years. The knit fabric is thicker and sturdier than most. I thought briefly about keeping it and adding modifications, but the neckline is warped and the material has been bleached a little more than I would like.

This one, believe it or not, is fine. However, my rule for keeping clothes is that I have to be able to style it three ways I would actually wear, and a sheer purple tunic can’t deliver for me.

I am not fond of tunic tops. They possess the inconvenience of dresses, with the added benefit* of requiring pants. Eeevil.

I liked this one while it lasted. Its thin material showed off every jiggle and bump in bizarre ways, but it was thin and pleasant in the hot North Carolina summer. Now it’s threadbare, and feels revealing and childish at the same time. Ew.

I adore the cut on the strapless bodice here. I modeled the bodice on this dress after it. However, the skirt’s too high and cannot be walked in without its sky-high slit. I can appreciate turning heads now and again, but that’s just too much.

This dress has been a nineties nightmare. It’s stiff and shapeless, has a giant, zippered kangaroo pocket, and cannot be taken in without looking worse. Also, why on earth was I so obsessed with military olive?

I got this dress at 7, and was still wearing it at 15. Eek. I wore it so much I drew myself in it when I wanted a self portrait. Now that I’m three years older, I’ve decided I don’t want people thinking I’m an early-blooming elementary schoolkid. Who’d have thought?*

There’s not much to say about this one, really. It didn’t fit anyone in the house, and yet we clung to it in case we suddenly radically changed body type. Not worth it.

This one was alright in cut and color, but the material was strange in a bad way. I also had another I liked better.

Now let’s see the ones I’m keeping.

Staying:

I'm not sure what distracted me.

Well-fitting, suitable to wear for most of the year, and it has pintucks and pockets. Win.

Why yes, this is a mumuu. It’s also buttery-soft, lightweight, and blousy but short at the same time. Excellent.

Do I even need to say it? I paid $2 for a close-fitting, 100% cotton, in-your-face eighties piece of magic. I rated the dresses above on a scale of one to this dress. Wonderful.

(*) Denotes sarcasm.

Coming up next: Things to replace those old sweatpants, followed by the big reveal of everything I’ve gotten rid of so far.

Stay or go? Short-neutral-toned skirt edition.

I have too many clothes. I’m not what I’d call a “shopaholic,” by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t get rid of enough. Many of my clothes are from a time when I was insecure, and many others just don’t work for me even though they technically fit. My sister is reducing the size of her wardrobe, and I wanted to try a different approach. Behold my many short skirts:

This one is a hand-me-down from sometime in the nineties, like a lot of my clothes. It’s  also unwearable. Note the semi-formal fabric and dress code-violating length.

This one is similarly problematic. I’m not sure I’ve ever worn it. It was originally handed over to my sister, who didn’t like or fit it.

This one, however, is too casual and it looks rather tired. Unlike the others, it was comfortable enough to be worn over and over again until it became a shadow of its former self.

This one is just unpleasant. It’s too short (And the constant creases make it shorter), too bulky and rather bleh.

This one is the last survivor from my middle school collection of teensy plaid skirts. It was a bit longer than the others, and so had an excuse to stay. It is, however, definitely the skirt of a 12-year-old girl.

All of these can be replaced easily by pants or the skirt I showed you last time. Fabulous.

Things I love (And a diy fishtail skirt)

I have been trying to get rid of things I don’t really love. Goodwill will receive a mighty haul from me soon. To replace them,  I’ve been making things I can style a number of different ways. For example, this gathered fishtail skirt inspired by A Pair & A Spare.

Six half-inch tucks in front, four in back.

While I still love plaid, I no longer have reason to wear my collection of short plaid skirts that serve to make me look about 10. Instead I have this, which I would wear every day if I could. It’s a simple gathered skirt, with the elastic sewn directly onto the self fabric instead of into a casing  and cut about six inches longer in back. I love my legs, but I don’t like showing off my unders. This skirt is a nice compromise.

Tights and sweater: Target (On sale), Shoes: unknown, Skirt: DIY, Headband: Home Depot, Mug: New Garden Friends basement sale.

Lesson learned: Making things you really enjoy puts into perspective the things you don’t.

Also, I’ll get my 1,000th view today! Happy dance.

Fabric scrap earrings: For when feathers are too mainstream.

I'm wearing a shirt with the sleeves pushed down. It didn't match.

I made these using scraps from a ribbed, tie dye t-shirt, and a broken necklace. For earrings like these, get some ear wires, 18-gauge wire, any long, jagged fabric strips, and two pieces of chain. Stack the fabric scraps in a manner you like and poke your 18-gauge wire  through the top of each strip. Make a short loop for hanging, and wrap the wire a few times around the fabric, tucking the loose end of the wire underneath. String the chain onto another piece of wire, and add your fabric tassel onto that. Stick the whole thing on the end of an ear wire, and repeat.

If liking it means you should put a ring on it…

… I must really like my right hand. Heh.

jew

Me-made: Bell ring, spike ring,dolphin ring, pin-tucked, high-waisted fishtail skirt. Thrifted: Train ring and black wing tip oxfords, not shown Retail: Sweater (Gift from grandma) and black tights, not shown

I have been playing with wire and hot glue quite a bit lately, and thought the results were worth sharing.

I found a ring base design on one of many, many fashion blogs, and will link to it  when I find it. It used a flat wire spiral and a loop of doubled-over wire. I will link to it when I find it. I would suggest using a marker or other round object the width of your finger for sizing.

For the bell ring:

• Get a bell ball. There should be plenty around at the end of December in craft shops. If necessary, rip one off a cheap drugstore toy your dog ripped apart.
• Before finishing the ring base, string the loop at the top of the bell onto the wire. Adjust the bell to the front of the ring.
• Close it up, and add a bead of hot glue to the bell loop where it meets the ring base.

For the spike ring:

• Make a loop at the end of some unbent wire. After bending the wire into a ring the right size for your finger,  bend the loop outward. Wrap the remaining wire around the loop in a flat spiral.
• Get a two-pronged hollow cone stud ready.
• Cover the spiral part of the ring base in hot glue, and quickly stick it into the cone. Add more hot glue if necessary, and bend the prongs around the ring base.

For the dolphin ring:

• Get a charm from a store, or harvest one off a broken necklace. Remove any loops or jump rings.
• Using very thin wire, connect the ring to the base.  Try to show as little wire on the outside as possible.
• Shock of shocks, the next step is to add hot glue.

For all rings, metallic paint is useful if your metals don’t match. It can also disguise visible glue. Let dry (I mean it) and spray with clear coat. I would avoid putting on your rings before the glue is cooled, regardless of how excited you are about them.

Enjoy!

Caveman Cookery

I have done the impossible. I have cooked snacks to be eaten by a roomful of strangers, with no gluten, no dairy, no meat and no garlic. I am princess of the ethically picky eaters.

I am a so-so cook. When you live with your family’s equivalents of Betty Crocker, Julia Child and Alton Brown, you don’t cook much. I’m not a bad cook by any means, but my skills are best applied to simple smashing, shaking and chopping. It’s caveman-level cookery.

Cucumber and Tomato Salad vinaigrette

Thai basil infused white vinegar (Or anything fancy)

Apple cider vinegar

Balsamic vinegar

Good, local honey (Mine was blackberry blossom honey, via the local mill)

Brown mustard (or any mustard, really)

Spanish paprika

Olive oil

Salt

Pepper

Mix these in by this order, to taste. Shake hard.  Put them in a container with the tomatoes and a cucumber, all sliced.  Eat.

Hummus

Take 1 can of chickpeas, and de-shell them somehow. I squished them slightly with a pastry mixer, and the shells popped right off. When all the shells are gone, mash with a potato masher or run through a food processor. Add lemon juice, salt, pepper, sriracha, paprika, soy sauce and whatever else you like in hummus. Transfer to dip bowl. Garnish poorly and spend 20 minutes sculpting the surface.

Slice up some celery as well, and some pita for the non-gluten folks. Adjust these recipes as you see fit.

All in all, you could probably do this in two hours in good conditions if you had to. I took more time than that, because I could and I like the smashing part.

Stay tuned for a post about the wonders of chickpeas.

Men’s button down to ruffly dress (And crochet flower hairclip)

Hi everyone! Hope you’re having a good summer.

My dress, made entirely out of one of my dad's shirts.

I’ve had some free time. Badly-illustrated tutorial to come!

Also, in that picture up there I’m wearing this thing on my head:

This.

The flower is the rose in the middle of the Anticraft‘s Asphyxiation choker, which I then stitched onto a scrap of blue fabric, beaded in the middle and tacked onto a large barrette. I have thick, unruly hair, which easily explodes or covers any smaller, wimpier scalp-jewelry.

See you guys soon!

Things I made when you weren’t looking

Hello earthlings! I’m back, and I’ll hopefully be updating more regularly. I have stuff to share.

I found all my stuff for this (including notions) at my Quaker meeting’s semiannual basement sale, which is possibly the best place to thrift I have ever encountered. Seriously, pay close attention to your local small places of worship. Everything there is previously owned, meaning you’re reusing instead of buying new wares and contributing to the world’s waste. If you look, you can find some absolute gems for dirt cheap. I’ll ramble more on this in a future post.

First off on the Things I Made list: A pillowcase nightie, from instructions found HERE. I added pockets and crossed straps with extra pillowcase bits, and trimmed it with simple white ribbon.

This picture is modeled by Coco the Bear, photographed by me.

Pockets!

…

Up next is a super-comfy robe, made from a vintage bed sheet using my Aikido gi top as a pattern. The basic shape is a wide T.

If you don’t have a gi that fits the way you want, get assistance in measuring your wingspan from thumb to thumb Divide that in half (Red). Then, measure down from the top of your shoulder across the widest part of your body to get the hem length you want (Green). It’s not as complicated as it sounds. I would suggest using an extra-baggy men’s t-shirt for the sleeves (Blue) and torso width (Aqua). Draw all of this out using taped-together sales papers or magazine ad pages to save paper. For the front, measure the width of your neck across your collar bones, mark a vertical line in the middle of your robe pattern, and draw a long, symmetrical V (Orange) from the top of the pattern that is as wide as your neck measurement.

Cut out the pattern and trace it onto fabric with whatever seam allowance is comfortable. Be sure to finish the seams, as these sheets fray. I rounded the corners as I sewed the bottom hem, and added slits to each side to suit my preferences. The belt is just a 4″ wide strip two and a half times my waist, folded into a tube and hemmed.

Detail shot showing slit and rounded corners.

To go with all this, I added pajama bloomers using Collette’s fabulous pattern.

I go to bed feeling pretty.